Inamorata.

While I was cleaning out old documents on my computer at work, I stumbled across a funny little document. It needed to be shared.

Dictionary for women:

Argument: a discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead: What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que: You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up... But he "made the dinner".

Blond jokes: Jokes that are short so that men can understand them.

Clothes dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.

Eternity: The last 2 minutes of a football game.

Exercise: To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery list: What you spend a half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser: someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "magician".

Hardware store: Similar to a black hole in space. If he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon.

Childbirth: You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breath...push...".

Lipstick: On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

Park: Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and neck". After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and a slide.

Patience: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquilizers".

Waterproof mascara: Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.